Beauties & Beaties

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Relationships 101

You've all heard the statistics; depending on what magazine you read or what TV therapist is speaking, the number of people staying in long lasting relationships isn't so hot. So what's the secret to being in a successful relationship? What are the keys to keeping that man or woman in your life (if that's what you want). Since this is a very widely debated and hot topic, I had to get two of the blogosphere's resident experts on these matters to weigh in with their advice. So Fuzz and Ranea...take it away!

He Says: As much as I love doing guest posts over here on BvB, I was really worried when I got the question from Siren. But then I reread the question and breathed a huge sigh of relief. I was mistaken. It wasn't keys to a happy marriage but to a long lasting one. (Just kidding Angry Joyce. Luv ya, mean it!) So now that I know the true question it is much simpler. Here are a few of my keys to having a lasting relationship:

1) Don't Sweat The Small Stuff: It has been my experience that even more than men most women need and enjoy a feeling of control in a relationship. It is so easy for men to let their significant other think that they have control if they look at just how easy this is to accommidate and not try to make all decisions a battle of wills.

In all reality men do not give a care about too many subjects. As long as we get regular sex, something to eat, a cold beer in the fridge, and get to watch the game, then we are pretty much set. By not sweating the small stuff and letting her decide what color the walls are, which way the tv faces, and other meaningless things, it gives a man great leeway in getting to drink a cold beer, watch the game, eat a sandwich, and get a hummer at the same time.

2) P's and Q's: Most women apparently have short memories unless it is involved in fights, when they remember every wrong that they have ever suffered real or imaginary at your hands and will gladly list them for you. If you do not communicate that you love and appreciate them on a daily basis, then they feel that you either have fallen out of love with them or do not appreciate them. Men generally don't need this nearly as much. If you told me something in 1986, I would think that you still felt this way until you told me different. But this is no problem if men would just remember this; How hard is it to tell a person that you love them daily and to say thank you for things that are done for you? It is pretty much painless and goes a long way in keeping the divorce lawyers at bay.

3) Give A Little To Get A Little: This subject covers everything from oral sex to Friday Night Poker Games. Everything in life is a compromise. The oral sex question is no problem for me at all since I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body and suffering through a chick flik on Saturday Night is a small price to pay in order to watch the game in peace on Sunday.

In conclusion, with a little compromise and a little communication, you build a foundation for a lasting relationship. I might not be a Dr. Drew or a Dr. Phil. But I seriously doubt that either of them could go one round with being married to a woman named Angry Joyce.

She Says: Men, they say you can't live with them and you can't shoot them without being on an episode of Snapped. But this isn't wholly true, you can live with men if you just follow a few simple guidelines. With that being said, here are a few guidelines to having a lasting relationships.

Acceptance: Ladies learn to accept the fact that your man is a slob and without you they would probably still be living with his Neandrathal buddies in a pigsty of an apartment with beer can mountains and cheerleader calenders on the wall. Learn to accept the fact that if he manages to throw his dirty drawers somewhere in the vicinity of the clothes hamper then you have managed great strides in training him.

Stubborness: Since the very moment that your engagement was announced, bets were being made on the duration of your marraige. My brothers gave my last shot at marriage anywhere from six months to a maximum of two years. It has been eleven years and if I can keep stubbornly holding on another four then I will win the jackpot. So remember eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize.

Space: Ladies, you and I all know that the house is our space, and let's face it we don't want to look at their crap. But you have to give in a little bit. Give them the garage. It is the perfect place for their disgustingly stained couch and their twenty year old football trophies. If you play your cards right, they will feel that they have won because they got to keep their stuff.

To sum it all up, it isn't about the dress it is about the battle fatigues. A long lasting relationship isn't a game, it is a blood sport. And to the victor goes the spoils.


Blogger David Amulet said...

The question for Ranea is: What are the spoils? Do you get to sit together 40 years from now and smile together while staring at the old football trophies?

The key is communication, plain and simple. With it, you might still have other problems, but without it, you're in trouble.

-- david

4:53 AM  
Anonymous michaelm said...

Both Fuzz and Ranea make wonderful key points.
I think that everyone wins.
Long lasting relationships are about compromise, understanding and acceptance.
You guys deserve a TV show.
Fuzz, I was standing right next to you when you proudly proclaimed that sometimes "it's all about the beer".
Great post, guys.


5:30 AM  
Blogger Curare_Z said...

Great job, both of you. I agree with both of you on many points. I think if more women thought like Ranea, there would be fewer sad men out there. Long relationships can certainly be all about losing a battle to win a war.

But, I had to cheer with Fuzz's "Give a Little to Get a Little." HEAR HEAR!!! ;-)

6:43 AM  
Blogger Vic said...

Good job guys! I must say that my sweet old granny gave me great advice though that somewhat opposes Fuzz. When I got married she told me and Hubby to always give MORE than you get. If both of you do that then you'll both be very happy indeed. Course, that has nothing to do with why Hubby and I have stayed together for 15 years. Nope. We stay cause we have too much invested now. I wouldn't start over again for nothing!

6:43 AM  
Anonymous starbender said...

Hahhaaaa! Great post guys!
U both have priceless information on how 2 keep the relationship on-going!


6:58 AM  
Blogger KC said...

Great answers from both of you! It's so true that communication is the key to a long term relationship. My husband understands this when he continues to nod "yes" to everything I say even though he's not listening to a word of it. But that's ok, because I nod "yes" when he's trying to show me how to program the DVD recorder. Like I'm going to remember that.... right.

20 plus years and going strong.

7:41 AM  
Blogger Green Eyes said...

Great post, both of you! Give a little, Get... that about sums it up!

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Bruce said...

Um...what's a relationship?

8:07 AM  
Blogger Paige Burns said...

I agree with both. 11 years and counting, compromise and not sweating the small stuff are the biggest things. Plus, as women get older their sex drives crank up, so if men can hang on until we reach our thirties, they'll get that game-food-hummer senario without much fuss. ;)

8:52 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I agree with you Fuzz on all three points. Now Ranea on the other hand, I know that you're speaking in generals here, but #1 on your list is more the reverse in my house. My wife's clothes are always all over the bedroom and in general, I'm pretty clean and always have been.

Great post though you guys.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Fuzz, you should have your own "Dr. Fuzz" show.. it would be a hit. ;-)

Seriously, you nailed it.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great job guys.

I think Fuzz's "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" is really important.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Big D said...

Ranea: That just goes to show you how much you know about bachelors. I collect Jack Daniels bottles and have Hooter calenders on my wall. pfffftt

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I came here because Fuzz said he was getting spanked. Sigh. I must've missed that.

Great stuff, says the single girl.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous jane said...

Fuzz lied & said he was getting spanked. I was just hoping to get a good view of his butt. ;)

5:41 PM  
Anonymous michaelm said...

Got this in my email and thought it was perfect for this blog.
Had to stop back and post it.

A Woman's Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.



6:21 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

I think Ranea made some good points but I have to give this one to Fuzz. Fuzz I think you nailed it, with one caveat... there always seems to be one person in every relationship who HAS to sweat the small stuff and, trust me, it's not always the chick. (Many days I just want to watch TV in peace, too.)

10:34 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

Bravo both of you, both of you made some really valid points. and Fuzz its so true we women never forget a comment made in the heat of an argument ;)

At the moment I am living in a place that was already his, so we have those stupid dogs playing pool and poker on the walls. We are hoping to get a house ( when ever I can work) so We will see whos decorating choices win out then ;)

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well done, Fuzz and Ranea!

Ranea, I like the "eyes on the prize" philosophy. I'm going to adopt that motto myself :)

Fuzz - I completely agree with compromise and communication. Wise words :)

Love you guys...thanks again!

4:19 AM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

I just thought that I would drop in and thank everyone for some great comments. I think Ranea did great and hope that I don't have to catch her on an episode of Snapped. Thanks again for having me Siren. It is always a pleasure.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Ranea said...

I hate to admit defeat but....

Great job Fuzz!

Thanx Siren for inviting me to guest post. As always it was a blast.

7:20 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

I think ranea did a better job, and she smells better, and she's going to toast my electrician!!!!! :)

each person gets 10% their way, no matter what, the other 80% is crap and doesn't matter.

on the other hand, if fuzz is an electrician, then he did a better job and I don't care how he smells

10:40 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

Remember that a car is kept in the garage and can be easily used to get away from a place they don't consider good for their sanity!!

7:23 AM  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I thought they both made good points and should run off and marry each other and live in harmony.

8:38 AM  
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9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

transitional housing

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A long marriage isn't necessarily a good one. My parents have been married since 1951. But they're too much alike. They think like one person. So they don't grow, spiritually, intellectually, or otherwise, because neither one ever challenges the other. Part of a rock song (I forget the name) goes: "A long time ago I had a lady to love. She made me think of things I'd never thought of." My parents have a dysfunctional relationship because neither one makes the other think of things he/she has never thought of. They really do agree on everything that has any importance at all--especially politics and religion.
I'd rather never marry at all, than have a marriage like that!

6:13 AM  

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